For the past couple years, I've written serious tips to help the novice and (hopefully) the experienced goat keeper. This month, I'm going to share a whimsical piece that was given to me as a birthday gift by my friend Trish Holst. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

All I Need to Know in Life I learned from My Goats


• Don't cry over Spilled milk.
• Milk every opportunity for all its worth.
• Quit complaining and get a goat.
• Its never polite to horn in on a conversation.
• No ifs, ands, or butts.
• Don't buck the system.
• No kidding around.
• Cream always rises to the top.
• Only lock horns when you know you can win.
• Bread usually falls butter side down.
• When the going gets tough, the tough hoof it.
• Count your does instead of sheep.
• Don't ever leave red shirts hanging on the line.
• If you feel like kicking the bucket, get help.
• Whatever you want is always at the udder end.
• Never let anybody get your goat.
• Does eat oats, and a kid'll eat ivy, too.
• Buttering people up only makes them suspicious.
• If you feel lazy, sell your lawnmower and get a goat (Would that this were true).
• When you hear a voice saying it's too cold to go out and milk, believe it.
• No matter what you do, never tell the kids.
• Isn't this life udderly wonderful!
• You've gotta be kidding.
• Maa`aa`a.

  I dare say there are a few nuggets of wisdom here by which we might all live. Hope you enjoyed this brief digression from the serious business of animal husbandry that we usually cover. Have a great month, and next time, we'll cover the subject of chevon as an alternative menu selection.

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